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How to Listen

Shhh! Listen, Don't Just Hear
>by Lillian D. Bjorseth, President
>Duoforce Enterprises, Inc.
>Better Business Contacts

Once when my oldest son wasn't paying attention to an assignment in elementary school, his teacher asked him if he had trouble hearing. "No ma'am," he answered, "I have trouble listening."

My son was only 7 years old, and he didn't realize he had zeroed in on one of the business world's biggest challenges: Almost all of us hear okay: however, almost all of us don't listen well.

The irony is that listening is the most used communication skill and the least taught. It is, by far, the most valuable communication skill for management and employees alike. Hearing is the first in a six-step hierarchical listening process i.e., all six must be done for the message to be received the way the sender wants it to be. "Hearing" means only that your ears are absorbing sound waves.

Listening, on the other hand, also involves interpreting, evaluating, understanding, responding and remembering! That's a lot to keep in mind when irate customers are loudly telling you what went wrong, you're participating in yet another meeting (when you would rather be returning phone calls) , or you're listening to a boring - to you - speaker.

The following suggestions can help you listen better: * Control your urge to speak.

Remember the old folk saying: God gave us two ears and one mouth so we could listen twice as much as we talk.

Zig Ziglar put it another way when he said that when you talk, you say something you already know, and when you listen, you find out what someone else knows. I add to that "what someone else needs and wants." How can we possibly make a sale or provide top-quality customer service when we don't know what the customer wants and needs?
>* Be receptive.
>Be objective and willing to hear what someone else has to say. Guard against preconceived notions based on race, sex, age or accent. Our mind and a parachute have something in common: they only work when open.

* Empathize. Strive to understand, as though you were in the person's shoes. Listen to what people are actually saying, not to what you think they should be saying. Listen to the words and the vocal tone and watch the body language, if you are having a face-to-face conversation. To be an effective listener, you have to see the world through another's eyes, to take the time to think how they are thinking. * Take notes. Write down what people are saying as they are saying it to make sure you capture the right words. This is especially helpful if you are a visual learner and need notes to reinforce your memory. Also, record the speaker's tone and body language to refine your interpretation as you review your notes. * Eliminate distractions. Very few people - if any - can effectively do two things at one time. While on the phone or talking to an employee, don't read materials on your desk, daydream or think about what is going on outside your window. Put on blinders and concentrate on the task at hand! Have you "listened" to what you read or did you just "hear" it? You may wish to ponder the advice my bartender friend gives new hires: Listen to your customers. Listen. It's the quickest way to establish loyalty. They want you to know more about them then they want to know about you. That's why they come here. What do your employees or customers want you to know about them? You have the answers ... if you listened!

>http://www.duoforce.com