How to Create Valuesby Sherry Lowry
A life can be richly enhanced when we can weave our values into the fabric of living it. By understanding then incorporating one value at a time, we can create the living of a 'values-based' life. This foundational piece will support us in every other way - including in how we bring ourselves to our business. Values help us gain congruency in our life and in our relationships as through these, we are connected to our best aspects and those of others. All this increases our capacity for joy and happiness in being were we are - this moment - without also having to have all those added extra's of externals we often get sidetracked pursuing. In order to orient our life around values -- or maybe it's reorient for some -- we first identify what they are. Here's some help. We are talking about getting in touch with values when we ask: - What should I do? - What do I want. (me!) - What's my opinion? First know this - We ARE our values already. They ARE us. Values are : • what we are naturally inclined or drawn toward: • what we are eager to do • what we do without efforting and without 'setting goals' • what people probably can't STOP us from living through, given our choice Values can change over time, but a good way to begin is actually identify and name those we resonate with right now. Create a list of ten values that you hold -- and then prioritize this to your current Top Four. An example of a value could be "wanting to know." There are people who just w.a.n.t to know. As children, as adults, they love asking questions and listening to responses, reading up on, going to classes and seminars, knowing people who know. For them, 'being informed' is a value. Or it could be called 'getting clarity.' It's how they go about living -- becoming informed, or having clarity. Even if not part of their job, they will do the research and find out more about the specifics and "the why's.' In fact, they may value this so much, they HAVE to know and understand certain things about the details in order to get a sense of the big picture. If this is the case, it may be joyful to them to be able to have a career that depends upon them becoming expert in an arena that requires ongoing research. Then doing what they do naturally can dovetail with their business preparation and success. Here's a start on more examples of values. Some may be a fit for you, or they may stimulate you to identify yours: - creating, adventure, teaching, contributing, beauty, spirituality - to catalyze, to discover, to feel, to lead, mastery, pleasure, to relate, - be sensitive, be spiritual, to win, to accomplish, to experience, sex Identify the top four values (of these or others), then look at how life can be lived more fully into and through these. This lends congruence and validity to each day. People begin to feel more on purpose and more able to bring true Self to work and relationships. Values run very deep within us. But surface or more superficial things can get into the way. For example, values can go out the window when we become compulsive around issues or an unhealthy relationship. An addiction can get very much in our way of living through or living out of values because it changes our day-to-day behavior and may interrupt us being true to ourselves or acting in our own best interest. There are many barriers to being in touch with our values effectively. Examples could be:
should's, could's and would have's tolerations incompletions irresponsibility stress roles adrenaline addiction; other addictions money obligation/duty guilt blaming
As we explore finding and then
honoring
our values, they grow more powerful Adopting a values-based approach
to goal
setting is also possible: Identifying then honoring our
values in
our daily life is another way to Sherry Lowry, The Lowry Group/NexusPoint
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